A Story

There are many challenges facing the teens today, of any orientation. Meet your peers, gain support and talk about issues important to you.

A Story

Postby xylerk » Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:07 pm

Was asked to post this by one of the mods. hes a friend irl so i thought, "why not?"
reference/relevance -> http://xylerk.tumblr.com/post/42908108572/

"From my prospective, this story is about the love life of a young gay man who struggles with identity and finding peace with himself.

The story starts off with a young male adolescent, living in an area with melded cultures and groups makes it an ordinary city in LA. This boy grew up in a fairly normal environment, he had a small group of friends, a few part time jobs here and there, chased after love interests like most high school boys, yet he felt upset for some reason.
He held high standards for himself and was very respectful of all the girls he dated, yet with all the beautiful women he surrounded himself with he felt an awkward hollowness with every relationship. He wondered if he would ever find happiness and that one person he could love. He’d stay up late, tossing and turning in bed unable to sleep, wondering why his relationships never feel quite right no matter who he tried to connect with [Can’t I even dream]. He started to entertain those thoughts of curiosity most people have, just as a way of keeping his mind busy. Over time he starts to think seriously, wondering about weather or not a man in his life would truly make him happy. Family and religious upbringing cause him to force those thoughts aside and ‘make himself better’ by setting a goal to find that one girl who could make him feel normal [Love is War].
After numerous failures, he begins to contemplate more and more about who or what he is really attracted to. Curiosity eventually gets the best of him and he browses the internet for answers, looking at blogs, support pages, ask websites, and chat rooms. Hours of reading stories helped him along with talking to some new friends he gained in the chatrooms gave him some encouragement and comfort in himself. Eventually he gains the confidence to attempt to talk to his parents about these new feelings towards men, this doesn’t go over to well. Under the pressure from overly religious parents, he snaps. He goes into a desperate strive for his parents approval, almost turning into a psychopath plotting to force him self on some poor girl and have a ‘happy life’ [Rotten Girl Grotesque Romance].
Luckily he regains his sanity before anything actually happened. He finds comfort in his online friends and feels accepted into the community in his time of need. He goes onto try and make a connection with a few guys but quickly finds that taking things slow is not socially acceptable in todays gay culture. Confused he tried to find out why guys didn’t appreciate chivalry and found the theory that most gay men go on a sexcapade between the ages of 18 and 22 to make up for ‘lost time’ not dating in high school. Our man falls into a deep depression under the idea that he’ll never be happy in either the gay or straight world. The over bearing unacceptance cause him to go on a self destructive downward spiral. He begins to shutout others, trying to decide weather or not he should stay true to his moral standings or fall into the mold of what is socially expected in the gay world [Bad Apple].
A few months go by and the only thing that really changes it the type of self destruction he partakes in; from self inflicted damage and shutting out those who attempt to help, he’s taken up going to clubs almost nightly to pick up a random guy and use him for the night [Party Junky]. completely unattached, he pics up guys, never even asking their name; he ben tries to pick up the same guys a few times simply because he doesn’t remember their face. At one point in time he even gets a drink thrown in his face by a young man who read more into the night than was originally intended. From then on our little raver tried to continue as he had for the past few months but he once more felt off with any of his tricks he had over. On top of that he found himself dwelling on the miscreant that threw the drink, wondering why he got so offended. He then confronts the barely legal drinker and invites him over again, clarifying on his intensions. His life goes on as usual with the accept ion that this one young man becomes a regular trick. Over time he starts to become the only one at all, even then the bedroom debauchery stopped and the idea of just having a decent conversation became enough for the two [spice!].
Our once troubled adolescent now started invited the young man over to spend time together. The more this youthful figure was around, the happier our man felt. He unknowingly started falling in love [Cosmic Lucky]. Once he understands his feelings he tries to convey them but simply can’t bring him self to do it. He does everything to try to encourage himself to disclose his feelings on numerous occasions but either gets interrupted or over run by his anxieties and just can’t manage to express himself properly [Electric Love, Melt, Hey Kaito]. He even once tried to subtly make the suggestion of staying the night with the expectation both would be in the bed when the sun rose the morning, which failed miserably on his part [Yellow].
He finally has enough of his internal struggle to explain how he feels and asks the now slightly older friend out on a date. Things actually go better than he ever could have hopped as his friend admitted to keeping the feelings he felt from the very first night. That gave him the confidence he needed to finally, if not a bit clumsily, manage to fumble out the sentence of affection he so desperately wanted to say [I Like You]. The two only grew closer from there. For once in his life, he was in a relationship and felt whole, happy even. The two went on many more dates afterwards, serene walks in the park on a beautiful day, cuddling under a blanket with coffee on a cold winters night, even trips to the beach with ice cream on the pier on a hot summers afternoon; their bond grew stronger daily. He met his boyfriend’s parents and was accepted into a loving family, something he had strived for for quite a bit of his young life. His world became pure bliss. There was talk of new living arrangements, the possibility of their own family in the distant future, every thing any one could ever want in a relationship [BPM & Gemini].
Unfortunately it was not to last. They developed a case of “bed death” and started drifting apart after wards. Eventually they had to admit and face facts, they where no longer in love. No matter how it ends, a break up always hurts, though he had the luxury of it being a drama less mutual break off [Just Be Friends]. They stayed in touch as friends, in-fact the only thing that really changed was that they where no longer living together. Still hanging out at all hours of the day, almost inseparable. They accepted that their love was more plutonic.
Years go buy and our man loved and lost a few more times. Some guys seemed like they would last, others where a one time thing. While he and his friend both remain single they’re optimistic, always putting themselves out there. Maybe one day our man and his friend will find their man [Answer, Strobo Nights].

So yeah, thats what i hear in my head when I hear these songs in this order. Just another testimony as to how crazy I am. I hope you enjoyed. (2013)"
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